Formal Self Introduction
Subject: Self introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Irwan, and I am from tutorial group 5 of your effective communication module. I am currently studying sustainable infrastructure engineering (land) in Singapore Institute of Technology as a year one student. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic in 2019 with a diploma in mechanical engineering. My passion in engineering developed ever since I was young because I was inspired by my dad who used to work as an engineer and I wish to follow his footstep.
My communication strength is that I am a good listener. I will actively listen to what others will say before I respond to them. I will keep my mind open and provide suggestions if necessary. It helps me to better understand their problems so that I can give my opinion about it.
My communication weakness is that I tend to feel very anxious and nervous when speaking in front of a large audience. To make matters worse, sometimes I experience lisp which makes it hard to pronounce words. As a result, I lose confidence and start to overthink about the negative comments they will say towards me. I experienced it back when I was in secondary school. I was tasked to prepare a presentation in front of class. I felt so nervous that I forgot what I am supposed to say and I did badly for it.
One of my goals for this module is to improve my presentation skill. I wish to put more effort in this class so that I can be more confident during my presentation. The second goal I have for this module is to improve my writing skills so that I can write clearly for my future assignment.
I believe what differentiates me from others is the ability to think positively. I believe that tough times don't last forever but tough people do. At the end of the day, what truly matters is the lesson we learned from it and how are we going to apply it in the future.
Thank you for reading my self-introduction and I look forward to your lesson.
Best regards,
Irwan
Dear Irwan,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you sharing about yourself. It is nice to know that you practice active listening as I believe that it is an often-overlooked communication skill.
I would love to find out what aspect of presenting you specifically want to work on. Perhaps you could link it back to the 'communication weakness' paragraph?
Also, I find that the following sentence repeats itself: "...is the ability to think positively and try to see the positive side of things"
Beyond the minor grammatical errors, I personally find that your email is clear and easily understood. Each paragraph had a distinct message and was accompanied with examples or insights.
Best regards,
Haziq
Dear Haziq,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I glad you find my letter clear and easy to understand. I have make changes to the things that you pointed out. I look forward to working with you.
Regards,
Irwan
Thanks for sharing more about yourself, Irwan! I now know more about you through this letter. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who feels anxious when speaking in front of a large crowd.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping you could elaborate more on how you were inspired by your father to become an engineer. There are also a few minor grammatical errors; such as in the sentence 'I feel so nervous that I forgot what I am supposed to say and I did badly for it.' The word 'feel' should be in the past tense as you were explaining about a past event.
Other than that, I believe that your letter is clear and concise. It also has a nice structure and flow to it. Hence, I really enjoyed reading your letter.
I hope that we both will be able to achieve our goals by the end of this module!
Regards
Izzeddine
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Izzy,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter. I glad that you enjoy reading my letter. I have updated my letter accordingly. Hope to see you soon.
Regards,
Irwan
Hi Irwan,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing a short introduction about yourself, I learn quite a number of new things by reading your self-introduction. I appreciate you sharing your difficulty in pronouncing some words and I hope that it will not limit you from progressing.
While you were experiencing negative comments in secondary school, could you share more on how you made the effort to progress and overcome such situation so that it would not repeat in future.
Apart from that, I feel that your letter is very clear and easy to understand. I appreciate the flow when you write this self-introduction letter. Easier for me as the reader to digest the whole letter.
Lastly, I hope we all will be able to achieve our goals by the end of this programme.
Regards,
Shafiz
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Shafiz,
DeleteI appreciate your time to read and give feedback to my letter. I make some amendment according to your feedback. I hope we accomplish our goals.
Regards,
Irwan
Dear Irwan,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the introduction that you did which give me a brief understanding of you.
However, there is a lack of elaboration on certain points that you have shared.
For example, "I was inspired by my dad who used to work as a engineer". ("an engineer") You can describe how he inspired you through his actions so that you can use them as evidence to support your position.
Besides that, under your communication weakness, you can further suggest some action/improvement that u can do to tackle your flaw.
As for the flow of your introduction, there is a sense of "choppiness" going on in your writings. I would suggest that you can improve the flow by experimenting with different sentence structures, conjunctions, and subordinating clauses.
Lastly, having to share a common goal. I hope that we can work together through our module to achieve it.
Regards,
Alice Lim
Dear Alice,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter. I appreciate your feedback and edited accordingly. It is nice to know we have a common goal and I hope we can achieve it by the end of the module.
Regards,
Irwan
Dear Irwan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this richly detailed and fluent letter. You’ve covered the scope of the assignment well and managed to demonstrate quite a bit about what makes you special. Among others points, we readers learn how your admiration for your father's work inpsired you to follow in his footsteps. I always find that a heartening story. We also learn that you are a tough fellow, as the phrase you have shared -- tough times don't last forever but tough people do -- really resonates.
In the letter, you also do an admirable job explaining your comm skills strength, from you being a good listener, to a perceived weakness, you not being a confident enough speaker (which ties in with your first goal). Hopefully, you'll take the Zoom mode lessons as an opportunity to share more openly with me and your peers. I want to hear your 'voice' more often. :)
I also appreciate you stating your second goal for the module: improved language use. Of course, one can always improve. For that reason, please consider this sentence's verb tense:
-- I feel so nervous that I forgot what I am supposed to say and I did badly for it. > (past or present?)
But honestly, your writing in this letter seems error-free. I hope to see that standard continue through the coming written assignments.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Blackstone,
DeleteI really appreciate the comment you gave me. I have edited the letter according to the feedback. I hope I can continue to improve my language skills. I look forward to learn more from your class.
Regards,
Irwan